Why I ALWAYS wear mascara!

Wait..keep reading I PROMISE this is not a blog post about how important it is to look good for your husband after spending all day home with the kids. This is a post about doing something for YOU each morning, that takes maybe a minute, that can be the most important thing you do for yourself each day.

Answer this question..how many of you go all day long without looking at yourself in the mirror? Not a glance as you are passing the refrigerated section in the grocery store but an intentional stop and stare at yourself in the mirror kind of look? For many ,if not most moms who spend all day at home with their little ones ,the answer may be never.

We spend all day looking at and after everyone else and making sure they are ok but who looks after YOU?

No matter what my day has in store I ALWAYS put on mascara. Why? Because it forces me to take a hard look at myself. Some mornings I look at myself and I see:

… a tired Mom who has been up all night with a 7 week old that wanted to eat every 2 hours and just stare at me in between.

…some mornings I see a warrior Mom who managed to get everything done on her to do list the day before.

…some mornings I see a optimistic Mom who woke up before her girls so she could drink a cup of HOT coffee  before her girls woke up and ..oh that bubble just burst because my 7 week old just had a diaper blow out that you could hear three states away!

But no matter what kind of Mother I see that morning the important thing is that I see ME!

In the time it takes to put on some mascara I can give myself a little pep talk and tell myself that I CAN do it and to not be so hard on myself if I get things wrong throughout the day. I can look at myself and say that I’m proud of you for putting your heart and sole into being the best mother you can be. And one of the most important things I can do is SMILE at myself- you would be amazed at how this can set the tone for your day. It feels a little funny at first just to smile at yourself in the mirror so just take a selfie if you need inspiration 😉 I take that smile with me as I go into Cupcakes room to wake her up with the wee one in tow (in the sling of course) and just for a moment feel like Supermom about to save the day!

And who knows the whole putting on mascara every day thing may turn into putting on eye liner, doing your hair and…well let’s not get ahead of ourselves. One step at a time!

Sometimes all we need as Mothers is a little encouragement to keep going. Let that encouragement come from YOU every morning as you put your mascara on and tell yourself that you are an AWESOME MOM!

And if all else fails and your day turns into a mess at least you will look good and we all know that is half the battle 🙂

 

Make it a great day Mama’s!

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Here I go again…

Call it mother’s intuition but I just knew I was pregnant this time! Even after the 1st, 2nd and yes 3rd NEGATIVE pregnancy tests I just knew. I calmed down, waited a few days, tested again and there it was the double line marking the beginning of another crazy, beautiful and LONG journey to meeting my new tiny human.

I remember how I felt the first time around…excited, nervous, scared, scared, SCARED..ok you get the point. But this time I felt another emotion I didn’t expect to fell…GUILT!

I felt guilty that being pregnant would hinder me from giving my little Cupcake all of the time and attention she would need.

I felt guilty that some days I would be too tired to play with her as much as I wanted too.

I felt guilty that she would not always be the center of attention.

I felt guilty that she would no longer be my ONLY…

I then felt guilty for feeling GUILTY so I just went and grabbed some ice cream 😉

I was always just fine with Adrianna being an only child but I wasn’t opposed to having another child..just not this soon.  I have spent too many hours stressing about how I will manage with a 15 month old and a newborn and just writing about it makes my head spin.

Everyone and I mean EVERYONE has an opinion about how hard my life will now be. But you see they don’t know that this little woman has always juggled working 3-4 jobs at a time so hey how hard can two little ones be??…please don’t answer that question, let me live in my own little world that it will be a cake walk 😉

But you know what? This time around I’m not reading any books on how to prepare for this new chapter in my life- I’m going to write my own book so to speak.  Common sense tells me it will be tough in the beginning but so is anything new that you take on.  I don’t need an “expert” to tell me to ask for help or take naps when I can..if anyone tells me to go ahead and take a nap I’m going to jump in the nearest bed!

I haven’t chronicled every single milestone with this pregnancy and hell just tack that on to the list of things I feel guilty about too! I have been just trying my best not to miss a single moment that is going on in the present with my now 1-year-old baby girl:

I try to go to bed early so that I have energy to run around the house with her.

I get up early to take my Zofran so that I can hold down meals since I have been sick as a dog for the past 14 weeks :/

I hold her a little bit longer after she falls asleep at bedtime and just stare at her sweet little face.

I talk to her about her new baby sister and tell her she will soon have a best friend for life!

I’m 3 weeks away from the halfway point of my pregnancy and I’m still in shock that I will have another little girl to hold in my arms very soon.

I can happily say the guilt is subsiding and the excitement is kicking in. Cupcake will have a sister so close in age to her and that is something I ALWAYS wanted growing up.

This is something I have been telling myself to help me when I have those days of feeling overwhelmed by the thought of possibly loving another little girl as much as I love Cupcake.

“Cupcake wont have to share my heart, my heart will simply multiply to make room for her little sister”!

Guilt subsided for now…now off to snuggle with my little Cupcake 🙂

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A Bigger Heart…

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Cupcakes sick, nothing serious but sick nonetheless ;(

No book, class or “must have” list prepares you emotionally for motherhood. I always wondered how I would feel at times when my baby girl was hurting.

My mom has told me countless stories of my rather sickly childhood and I have vivid memories of quite a few of them. I remember my mom sitting up with me as I battled chronic strep throat and my dad was often there too even though “Mom” was always the first name yelled. I was the one in pain so I never even contemplated how they must have felt.

Well, now I know.

It’s awful 😦 Her cries are raspy and her sobs congested. Her great big eyes look up at me.. AT ME! I’m now the one who is supposed to save the day. How did my mom do it? She always knew just what to do. I immediately feel inadequate and contemplate getting a T-shirt made that says Rookie Parent!

She has a bad cold, it will pass. In the meantime I will pick her up when she cries and kiss her tears and tell her its ok..why oh why didn’t my pediatrician send me home with a list of things to do to help ME cope!

I remember preparing my list of things that I just “had to have” like that useless wipe warmer, and that list seems so frivolous right now. In all honestly, new moms need to know that you will somehow have to make your heart bigger and stronger at the same time. Anyone know any stores that carry a device that can do that??

Imagine a Wonder Woman cape tied around your heart..yup that describes the “new heart” you will need.

I know dealing with a sick baby is just one instance in which I will feel ill equipped in this motherhood thing. Experienced mommies I know you are just shaking your head and saying ” poor thing this is nothing, just wait until…” Well you see I’m not ready for the next thing to happen. I’m still trying to figure out how to be..well like my mom was.

How did she know how to do and fix EVERYTHING!

Well that’s the beauty of motherhood..we mommies often make it look easy when inside our heart is trying to glue its cape back on.

So here is my advice to myself and other “Rookie Mommies”:

▪   Step 1- BREATHE!

▪   Step 2- Wrap your superhero cape around your heart.

▪   Step 3- Look into your little ones eyes and say, “Mommy will fix it”. You may not have the slightest idea how or if you can and that’s ok..well, it is ok for me now. I may lose this tactic once she can talk and reason with me;)

For now this approach calmed her and she closed her eyes and fell asleep in my arms. Tears built up in my eyes because I now realized how my mom felt all of those times.

I hugged Cupcake a little tighter, put her back in her crib and prayed ” Dear God, please give me a bigger heart and a couple of capes. I have a feeling one will not be enough.”

Hoping your little ones or not so little ones are healthy and happy! And if anyone knows of a heart cape maker please send him or her my way;)

T.G.I.F…

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Ahh I remember those days…the count down to the weekend!  My old friend ” Friday Night”, even writing his name makes me blush ;)!  I can close my eyes and memories of him come running back to me:

  • What new bar/restaurant will I try tonight?
  • Will I wear my skinny jeans and black stilettos OR my skinny jeans and my new hot pink stilettos…this decision alone had be consulting five friends to make that crucial decision.
  • Will I stay out to 3am OR call it an early night and come home at 1am so I can really sleep in on Saturday…what’s that, define “sleep-in”- EXACTLY!

You see my old friend “Friday Night” is no longer around.  No no, don’t be sad, we had a great run and made many MANY memories that I’m so glad I didn’t post all over cyberspace. My new friend “Friday Night” now looks a little like every other night of the week:

  • I’m exhausted by 4pm but somehow have to make it until 8pm when I religiously say the rosary so she will sleep at least 6 straight hours!
  • I’m wearing a spit up stained shirt because I have given up on the “I’m always going to look good no matter what” new mom fantasy!
  • I spend my nights rocking my little sweetheart to sleep instead of…well doing anything else!

As I sit here and cuddle with Cupcake my mind drifts to a time when I was dancing the night away… but you know what, I’m still dancing the night away but this time my dance partner is a 16 pound bundle of sweetness that will ALWAYS have the last dance!

My trendy spot to go on a Friday night these days is a place called home. Sweatpants and spit-up stained shirts are allowed and tonight’s special on tap is ice water with a lemon wedge..oh what the heck lets splurge tonight and make it a double..its Friday night after all!

Here’s hoping your Friday night was something you could Thank God about. I know mine was!

Cheers to You!