A Compassionate Request…

To My Daughters Future Mother-In-Law,

Yes I realize this letter may be a bit premature since my little girls are only almost 1 and 2.5 but what I have to say has been so heavy on my heart that it couldn’t wait.

To a fault I’m fiercely independent in the I can nurse one baby while I play a pretend tea party game while emailing a work client AND cook dinner. While some of my fellow “wonder women” moms out there are nodding because they are too like this, I have to admit that this level of “mommy can save the world and everyone in it” doesn’t make relationships easy..In fact it has caused issues in every single one that I have had including my marriage.

You see when you are this take charge people around you often think you don’t NEED or WANT help. When others manage to ask you if you need a hand types like me quickly say “I got it” while inside they are secretly hoping that the person asking would just do it because its hard for types like us to accept a helping hand.

My 2-year-old daughter is already exhibiting signs of this “ I don’t need anyone to help me” mantra. She wants to pick out her own outfits, can put on her own shoes and tells me when I don’t put her toys make in the “right place”.

As much as I want to raise daughters who can save the world I also want my daughters to know that the right man will NOT need her to run everything in their life.

When you get married the days of proving you can do it ALL are over in my opinion. The competition and race to create an “illusion” of always being perfect and accomplishing enough tasks in one day that most CEO’s don’t even complete in a month are OVER.

So what does this have to do with you, my daughter’s future Mother in Law??

Here is what I pray you do for her future husband, your son!

***Can you teach your son that some of the best wives are strong independent woman because when you are weak she will be strong enough for you and then some!

***Can you teach your son that his wife should never do the job of 10 people no matter if she works from home doing outside work or works from home raising your children? You should ALWAYS contribute when you are home and when you are not home you should ALWAYS ask her how you can make things easier for her!

***Can you teach your son that no matter how many times his wife may say she doesn’t need help that she really does. Strong women are afraid to look weak for many reasons and its your sons job to tell her that asking for helping isn’t showing weakness and that its his JOB to provide a strong foundation for her to lean on!

***Finally can you teach your son that independent women may tell you that they don’t need you but that is the furthest thing from the truth? They need you but just don’t always know how to say and show it!

I’m raising some fierce little ladies over here who although may be tough little bundles of dynamite with a smile are truly loving, sensitive and compassionate little girls who I know will become amazing women.

Our society is teaching us that men like this don’t exist.. so you can you do me a favor and raise your son to be THAT man. I promise to do my part to raise his future wife to be his partner, best friend and team mate who will never leave his side.

Oh and I’m KNOW with out a doubt that Daddy won’t let them go until he is CONFIDENT she has found “THAT” man. This is ONE subject we agree on;)

Signed,

Your Future Son’s Mother-In Love

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Two under two…The Warmup!

Well I did it! I survived the infamous dreaded stage of motherhood known as “two under two”. For those of you yet to enter this phase or for those of you still in it- I don’t have any wise words or a list of must do’s! What I can tell you is that I learned three great things about myself and the person who put me in this position..my husband 😉

1. I may never sleep a full 8 hours again! When you have two under two there is ALWAYS some sort of milestone they are reaching at the most inconvenient time aka whenever you are trying to sleep. Somedays, Im not gonna lie, I wake up and immediately start daydreaming about bedtime. Solution- buy stronger coffee beans and grind them fresh daily- I can NOT risk the coffee not being strong enough. Weak coffee puts everyone who I encounter that day in danger;)

2. I NEVER sit down. I remember thinking I was busy with just Cupcake but oh if I could do it over I would take a nap EVERY SINGLE TIME she did. I mean I would proudly post Im napping at 12, 3 and then again at 5 with the hashtag #nappingainteasy. On the rare occasion that both of my girls nap at the same time- Im so shocked that I really don’t know what to do with myself. Most of the time I just stare at the monitor and the clock wondering how much time I have for ‘myself”. I don’t dare lay down because that sends off the silent alarm that is code for mama’s napping so lets get the party started.

3. Your marriage WILL be tested. Let me put it like this…in between the hours of 2am and 4:30 am exactly my husband is NOT my husband. He has looked at me as if the crying babies don’t belong to him and has even said Im too tired and rolled over and went back to sleep. If I kept a running log of all of the inappropriate things he has said to me during this time in the wee hours of the morning  our marriage would not make it. You see this is not my husbands finest hour (s) and he hates this part of parenthood. I had to learn that its ok to hate certain parts of being a mom or dad and that we have to work as a team. I have tried everything- kind words, bribery 😉 to get him to be nicer in the middle of the night but nothing has worked. So I just refer to his alter ego as” Mr. Meany” in the middle of the night and remind him to make sure my coffee is ready first thing in the morning!

Just when the fog had somewhat lifted and dare I say I have started to get 5 hours of straight “rest”.. I don’t use the word sleep anymore. Cupcake turned 2..

Well the joke was on me..that whole “two under two” stage was just the warm-up. Now folks the game has started. How did this game start you may ask? With her asking me the dreaded question out of the blue- “BUT WHY MOMMY?”

I was so shocked, I felt a slight bead of perspiration form, our eyes locked and she wouldn’t look away so I used the only tool I had and said…BECAUSE I SAID SO!

OMG people- Im so NOT ready for this!

This is it..I’m really a parent. No more just dressing her up in cute clothes with oversized bows. My precious baby girl now talks back.

Buckle up..its going to be a bumpy ride. Bring on the WINE and lots of it 😉

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