I have spent almost the last 40 years becoming ME…
It has NOT been an easy road.
At times I have felt like giving up..and at times I did.
I spent years trying to be who someone else wanted me to be and more time than I want to admit trying to quiet who I really was.
I have arrived at a place of truly loving myself. It is not a place of conceit or over confidence but a place of self awareness, self acceptance and a whole lot of I don’t give a damn!
I will no longer shrink my existence to make another person feel more capable. I will no longer apologize for having a life that I’m proud to live, one that God designed ME for.
I will no longer let ANYONE put me into a box, labeling me or asking me to pick a side, a team or a color!
Recent events have attempted to pin me into a corner begging me to choose between being a black women OR being the wife of a white police officer.
I have been recommended books on what it means to be black in America and actually told that my mixed children would be seen as black therefore I had better choose wisely!
After yelling, crying and being on the verge of shrinking back to become a quiet observer, I took a hard look at myself in the mirror and reminded myself that NO ONE can make me choose unless I allow them to!
You may see that I’m a black women married to a white police officer but I know that doesn’t even begin to describe “ME”.
There is no way in HELL I’m choosing a side because there is no side to choose!
Its only when we stop basing someone’s entire being on what we can see that we will truly move past the issue of race.
When I look at my family I see and feel God’s love!
When I look at my family I see answered prayers and dreams fulfilled!
When I look at my family I see integrity, honor, compassion, transparency and acceptance!
When I look at my family I see two little girls that look to me to be their guide, their compass, their model! They will have the confidence to be BOTH black and white at the same time without feeling the need to choose one over the other. They will have that confidence because THAT is what we teach in this house!
We don’t choose sides in this family and we don’t make divisions that GOD didn’t intend for us to make.
We are ONE and I’m ME!