To My Daughters Future Mother-In-Law,
Yes I realize this letter may be a bit premature since my little girls are only almost 1 and 2.5 but what I have to say has been so heavy on my heart that it couldn’t wait.
To a fault I’m fiercely independent in the I can nurse one baby while I play a pretend tea party game while emailing a work client AND cook dinner. While some of my fellow “wonder women” moms out there are nodding because they are too like this, I have to admit that this level of “mommy can save the world and everyone in it” doesn’t make relationships easy..In fact it has caused issues in every single one that I have had including my marriage.
You see when you are this take charge people around you often think you don’t NEED or WANT help. When others manage to ask you if you need a hand types like me quickly say “I got it” while inside they are secretly hoping that the person asking would just do it because its hard for types like us to accept a helping hand.
My 2-year-old daughter is already exhibiting signs of this “ I don’t need anyone to help me” mantra. She wants to pick out her own outfits, can put on her own shoes and tells me when I don’t put her toys make in the “right place”.
As much as I want to raise daughters who can save the world I also want my daughters to know that the right man will NOT need her to run everything in their life.
When you get married the days of proving you can do it ALL are over in my opinion. The competition and race to create an “illusion” of always being perfect and accomplishing enough tasks in one day that most CEO’s don’t even complete in a month are OVER.
So what does this have to do with you, my daughter’s future Mother in Law??
Here is what I pray you do for her future husband, your son!
***Can you teach your son that some of the best wives are strong independent woman because when you are weak she will be strong enough for you and then some!
***Can you teach your son that his wife should never do the job of 10 people no matter if she works from home doing outside work or works from home raising your children? You should ALWAYS contribute when you are home and when you are not home you should ALWAYS ask her how you can make things easier for her!
***Can you teach your son that no matter how many times his wife may say she doesn’t need help that she really does. Strong women are afraid to look weak for many reasons and its your sons job to tell her that asking for helping isn’t showing weakness and that its his JOB to provide a strong foundation for her to lean on!
***Finally can you teach your son that independent women may tell you that they don’t need you but that is the furthest thing from the truth? They need you but just don’t always know how to say and show it!
I’m raising some fierce little ladies over here who although may be tough little bundles of dynamite with a smile are truly loving, sensitive and compassionate little girls who I know will become amazing women.
Our society is teaching us that men like this don’t exist.. so you can you do me a favor and raise your son to be THAT man. I promise to do my part to raise his future wife to be his partner, best friend and team mate who will never leave his side.
Oh and I’m KNOW with out a doubt that Daddy won’t let them go until he is CONFIDENT she has found “THAT” man. This is ONE subject we agree on;)
Your Future Son’s Mother-In Love