Never Will I Ever…

 

Sounds like the beginning of that fun little game I bet we have all played at one time and I’m not about to tell you what my response was 😉

No this is about the hardest and the best lesson I have learned as a woman and now a mother. 

 

This time last year I was about 8 months pregnant and working full time in medical sales. My job required me to drive about an hour into my territory to visit physicians and hospitals. The day-to-day work was getting taxing on me but for those of you who know me know that I have a tendency to think that I can do EVERYTHING! In addition to working full time I was also coaching my college dance team. I have to admit I was tired, but I would NEVER have admitted that to anyone if they asked me..for some reason I thought I had to say I was fine.

 

I forgot to mention that I was also on modified bed rest which meant that I should NOT have been doing much of anything but I really just don’t know how to do NOTHING..I think I missed the class in which that word was defined in school.

 

I knew there was a scheduled work sales meeting coming up in Las Vegas and in the back of my mind I knew I shouldn’t go, my doctor told me not to, my family told me not to but I’m stubborn and I thought I had to go in order to let my job know that I was still a go getter despite me carrying around the extra large basketball in my stomach. 

 

Did I go? Well I sure did and guess what?… I ended up in the ER due to contractions caused by dehydration and missed half of the meeting anyway. THANK GOD I convinced my husband to come with me “just in case” something happened. 

 

So was that the lesson I learned?  Well, that would have been a good enough lesson but no there is more!

 

I was called into a meeting the next week by my manager for which I thought would be a meeting to discuss the sale of our company and the new direction we were headed but nope boy was I wrong. The meeting was to tell me my position was ELIMINATED as a result of “restructuring”!  I can close my eyes now and picture it like it was yesterday..I waddle my huge self into the meeting, was greeted by my manager, was asked how I was doing and then told “we are eliminating your position and no longer need your services.”

 

I was:

 

SHOCKED

 

HUMILIATED

 

ANGRY

 

MAD…AT MYSELF!!

 

You see I could have lost something MUCH MORE important than any job will ever be to me..MY BABY GIRL.  I wasn’t a personal decision to my job and I made a HUGE personal mistake in even going on that trip.

 

The path I was going on in my career was not the path I was supposed to be going on. My dream has always been to make dance my full time career and I knew I wanted to have the flexibility to stay home with my baby girl. THAT WOULD NEVER HAVE BEEN POSSIBLE WITH THE JOB I WAS WORKING. 

 

This isn’t the first time that God has pulled the rug from under me in order to get my attention but God will NEVER have to do that again!

 

This was a harsh reality check for me! My life was severely out of balance. Not anymore!

 

▪   GOD FIRST

 

▪   FAMILY SECOND

 

▪   WORK THIRD

 

I will never put a job or any material gain as first priority in my life. That is not to say that I will not give my absolute best to my job but it will NEVER come at the expense of time with my family or my health again.

 

I’m replaceable to everyone EXCEPT my family. I gave 200% to my previous employer, broke sales records and worked weekends and guess what they still fired me.  

 

There is more to the story with the job..A LOT more.  God saw to it that I didn’t walk away empty handed. I cant elaborate much more for many reasons but I was the clear winner!  Almost three months later I gave birth to my beautiful baby girl!  There isn’t a paycheck, bonus check or company car that compete with her!

 

As a new mom it is so tough to go back to work. You feel the tug of war of trying to be the best mom you can while trying to make sure you are performing your best at work so no one thinks you hit your head on the “mom tree”. What the “mom tree”?? You know that tree you bump your head on that makes you a bit forgetful, a little less organized than you used to be and just a tad bit late at times. Well so what! That bump on your head doesn’t make you any less valuable to the company you work for unless you feel that way yourself! 

 

Being a mom makes you more valuable because hell you can multi-task like it’s a new Olympic sport and if you can pump and drive like I have on many occasions you deserve a gold medal in my book! Don’t speed and pump because that could be a mighty interesting traffic stop;)

 

Being a mom means you put your children first..END. OF. STORY. If anyone tells you differently do yourself a favor and fire them! 

 

Cupcake and I are dancing our way down the RIGHT path now!

 

 

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Cracks in the Foundation

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It is often said that happiness is fleeting. Well if you don’t have a solid foundation, it can be!

You see we have been dealing with drain flies for the past month. It started as one or two and over the weekend that number quickly became 1,000 or more. Those of you who personally know me, know that even typing the words “drain flies” makes me squirm. I’m petrified of bugs! We couldn’t figure out what was causing the flies and originally thought they were getting in from the back door. Well, after turning to Mr. Know it All aka GOOGLE, we learned that drain flies can be caused from a clogged drain.

Ok easy to fix, right? Sure we thought so too! We cleaned the drains and they kept coming and by kept coming I mean they were now coming out of our ventilation system and landing on our walls.  We then taped up the vents just to make sure and yup those mini wings of terror were flying out of the air ducts and sticking to the tape. 

Our next call was to a plumber. I thought he was going to snake the line, unclog it and back to normal we go, but oh no..he found a BIG OLE CRACK IN THE PIPE THAT RUNS UNDER OUR HOUSE. Yes I’m screaming because our house is old and it sits on one large concrete slab. So in order to fix the problem they had to dig two holes in our kitchen (see exhibit A- the nasty picture).

For the past week we have been without a kitchen and our house is a mess..a dust covered mess. We finally had to vacate the house and have been living in a hotel for the past 3 nights. We had to fumigate the house to get rid of the existing bugs and cross our fingers that this solves the problem. We had to go home to get more stuff to take back to continue our forced “stay-cation” and it was like entering a war zone. Dead bugs everywhere and a layer of dust on EVERYTHING!

There have been many times when I wanted to break down and blame someone, anyone! But you see I cant break down..there is a little person who needs me to keep my S*i!  together.  As I was packing up our belongings to move to the second hotel..yup you are really getting jealous of my “stay-cation” now aren’t you, I looked over at my daughter who was staring at me as I let out an audible loud sigh..ok REALLY LOUD sigh.  

As I looked at her my mood changed instantly. I smiled and she smiled with her large infectious smile that lights up her entire face.  She reminded me that my happiness can not be based on my surroundings because my little cupcake has remained happy though it all.  (see exhibit B-the happy picture)

I did everything I could to recreate her surroundings so that she would adjust well. I brought her favorite toys, her playpen, and made sure I had her favorite music on my computer but you know what she didnt need any of that stuff she just needs me to be HAPPY! 

This experience has taught me a lot about myself and if my foundation wasn’t solid I could have let this situation break me down. If I dwell on how much it will cost, the state of my house or its contents I will lose it. I had to make the choice to focus on what I do have and I have a lot!  We have a long way to go to repair our house but this did not crack my family’s foundation and it could have!

We all woke up in one big hotel bed this morning and thanked God for each other and our temporary home filled with laughter, love and NO BUGS…well there IS one big giant love bug here aka Cupcake but we will keep her 😉