A Bigger Heart…


Cupcakes sick, nothing serious but sick nonetheless ;(

No book, class or “must have” list prepares you emotionally for motherhood. I always wondered how I would feel at times when my baby girl was hurting.

My mom has told me countless stories of my rather sickly childhood and I have vivid memories of quite a few of them. I remember my mom sitting up with me as I battled chronic strep throat and my dad was often there too even though “Mom” was always the first name yelled. I was the one in pain so I never even contemplated how they must have felt.

Well, now I know.

It’s awful 😦 Her cries are raspy and her sobs congested. Her great big eyes look up at me.. AT ME! I’m now the one who is supposed to save the day. How did my mom do it? She always knew just what to do. I immediately feel inadequate and contemplate getting a T-shirt made that says Rookie Parent!

She has a bad cold, it will pass. In the meantime I will pick her up when she cries and kiss her tears and tell her its ok..why oh why didn’t my pediatrician send me home with a list of things to do to help ME cope!

I remember preparing my list of things that I just “had to have” like that useless wipe warmer, and that list seems so frivolous right now. In all honestly, new moms need to know that you will somehow have to make your heart bigger and stronger at the same time. Anyone know any stores that carry a device that can do that??

Imagine a Wonder Woman cape tied around your heart..yup that describes the “new heart” you will need.

I know dealing with a sick baby is just one instance in which I will feel ill equipped in this motherhood thing. Experienced mommies I know you are just shaking your head and saying ” poor thing this is nothing, just wait until…” Well you see I’m not ready for the next thing to happen. I’m still trying to figure out how to be..well like my mom was.

How did she know how to do and fix EVERYTHING!

Well that’s the beauty of motherhood..we mommies often make it look easy when inside our heart is trying to glue its cape back on.

So here is my advice to myself and other “Rookie Mommies”:

▪   Step 1- BREATHE!

▪   Step 2- Wrap your superhero cape around your heart.

▪   Step 3- Look into your little ones eyes and say, “Mommy will fix it”. You may not have the slightest idea how or if you can and that’s ok..well, it is ok for me now. I may lose this tactic once she can talk and reason with me;)

For now this approach calmed her and she closed her eyes and fell asleep in my arms. Tears built up in my eyes because I now realized how my mom felt all of those times.

I hugged Cupcake a little tighter, put her back in her crib and prayed ” Dear God, please give me a bigger heart and a couple of capes. I have a feeling one will not be enough.”

Hoping your little ones or not so little ones are healthy and happy! And if anyone knows of a heart cape maker please send him or her my way;)

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